Why do I try to do stuff on my own?
It's so aggravating to me when I go through life for a while, make mistakes, then have to go back to God for a fresh start when I should have been with Him the whole time.
For some reason, as my daily life goes on, I just forget that God's right here with me. I talk with people, make decisions (not always good ones), and go about my business as if God weren't even existant, much less present.
Normally I don't even realize it until I screw up and realize that I had "left God" a while ago.
I can't do it on my own! Why do I try?
In a way, I realize that this is the basis of all sin: thinking that you are self-sufficient enough to do what YOU want; thinking that YOU know what is best.
On the other hand, the basis of salvation is rejecting autonomy and saying that you CAN'T do it on your own. That you NEED God to pick you up and renew you.
As depressing as it is sometimes when I repeatedly go against God and try to do things on my own, it is very refreshing to come back to Him when He has His arms wide open. No matter how many times I screw up and need to come humbly back to Him saying that I made a mess of things, He remains loyal and sets me back on my feet.
In James, it says that we should pray for one another, so I'll pray that you guys can remember God and your need for Him all the time, and I hope that you'll pray for me and each other, too.
I think this song applies to what I'm trying to say. The lyrics are pretty powerful.
Still Here Waiting
Todd Agnew
It's cold outside
Or is that just the chill I feel inside from standing here
Steeping in my shame
I can't deny
I'm surrounded by the very thing You freed me from
That's why I can't come home
I don't know where I turned around
From chasing what I always found completed me
More than I could dream
I don't know why I can't remain
Safe here where I always came to meet with you
And You always met with me
And You're still here waiting
I fail to see
Why You'd still be waiting to forgive me
After all that I have done
But I cannot say
That one time I returned and You had turned away
Your love never fails
You say, Come home and You'll be there
I can run into Your arms
Thanks, God, for ALWAYS being faithful!
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1 comment:
i agreed with everything that you said here. it's a real challenge sometimes to give your attitude over to God, even though you've given your overall life over to Him. the song was a really good selection for this topic... very powerful lyrics.
o, and the title was amusing:)
~shannon
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